


Draw a Heart

by HerbertBest



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Awkward Boners, Awkwardness, Demisexuality, Eventual Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Lust, Masturbation, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Polyfidelity, Slow Burn, Trust Issues, commitment issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-05-02 23:52:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14556321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerbertBest/pseuds/HerbertBest
Summary: Dan's afraid of falling.  Holly's afraid of letting her guard down.  As the lines between love and sex, confidence and insecurity blur, will the final leap for them both lead to hope or disaster?





	1. Chapter 1

_**oh hungry hungry. I am so hungry for a big smashing creative burgeoning burdened love: I am here; I wait…**_ \- _The unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath_

 

 

“Will you give me a real opinion, if I ask for it?”

Dan looked up from his phone in confusion, his mouth stuffed with pretzel chips. “Will I wah?” He’d been having a nice snack at the office when Holly had shyly come up to him.

Holly let out a deep sigh. “Dan. I need a non-personal, non-Ross opinion on how I look. We’re going to be meeting with a bunch of people at Turner and you’ve done that kind of thing more than we have.” Her ears turned scarlet. “I just need a guy opinion, a does-this-look-good-opinion.”

“Are you sure you’d rather ask me instead of Suzy?”

“She’s not a guy,” she said.

“Okay, that’s fair.” He finished his chips and folded his hands. “I’ll wait here for you!” 

Holly shook her head, laughing as she retreated. A few minutes later, she returned to stand before him, in a dark sundress and tall, white-strapped sandals. She looked gorgeous. 

It was also pretty low-cut.

Holly self-consciously covered herself. “Do you think it’s too cleavage-y?”

“That’s not a word,” Dan said. His words came out in a grit. He did not want to look at her boobs, think about her boobs, at this particular moment.

Fuck. He totally had a hard-on. For Holly. His unavailable, extremely married, very demisexual friend. 

There was no way he could approach this. He smiled nervously. “You look gorgeous,” he said, and meant it sincerely. 

“Thank you,” she said sweetly. “I just wanted to make sure I was projecting the confidence business witch look I wanted to project.”

“You’ve never made a misstep in your life,” he said sweetly. 

“Oh Dan,” she said, shaking her head. “You’re too nice.”

Was he? He knew he tended to be. But he only acted that way because he wanted people to be happy. Making people happy made him happy. Which was why he was very careful to aim his dick in another direction when he hugged Holly.

She squeezed him around his slim shoulders. After a minute she released him, and the softness of her, the scent of her, moved away. He sat quickly back down, and she scampered to the front door and left with Ross.

On the way out the door, she pulled on a black cardigan. Dan sat there, watching her go, and suddenly remembered that it was eighty degrees outside.

 

*** 

 

He floated through his day with her scent on his mind. He had that dumb, goofy feeling in the back of his mind – the one that always indicated new love was blooming in his heart. Christ, he did not need this now – not with Holly, who was too good of a friend to put through his self-recriminatory bullshit. But he ate his dinner and wrote a song, feeling half out of his mind, feeling caught between her and the bright red earth around them, and floated through the white cavern of his house like a ghost. He felt unknowable, as if he were dissolving. He needed to touch human flesh again.

And he reached for his phone, and started dialing a number…


	2. Chapter 2

He went down the listings slowly. It was like a bad echo of his old jokes. Everyone was out of town, or busy, or with another lover. Which left Dan alone and in bed with his left hand and his imagination.

Lying alone jerking off in his own largesse, he couldn’t help but wonder why the hell he was alone on a night like this. Never had two deadlier combinations been invented – his loneliness and his awkwardness. If he let his mind wander, if he let it go blank, her rounded features and flat, soft belly rose unbidden like a vampire in the back of his mind. His Sliquid-dotted palm moved over his hard cock like he was trying to start a fire as he forced himself to think of something else. Think of blondes and bigger tits, rounder asses and thicker thighs – but his head kept going back to Holly. It was her he was thinking of when he gasped and groaned and came hard, pouring over his own fist and belly.

“God fucking damn it,” he muttered through his teeth. Why was he always tempted by forbidden fruit? Why did his desires turn on a dime so quickly – out of fear of settling? Out of fear of being left? 

“Go to sleep, Dan,” he muttered to himself. “You’ll get it tomorrow.”

But when he shut his eyes, it only got worse. He dreamed of her instead.

*** 

He saw her at brunch the next morning. Arin was bragging about the new house he and Suzy were going to build for her mom, and Dan was smiling and nodding, stuffing sweet French toast between his lips. Fruit salad followed.

He choked a melon cube when he saw Holly. “How did the meeting go?” he asked, jumping to his feet, trying to pull a chair out for her.

She blinked at his sudden show of chivalry – and Ross had a comment on the tip of his tongue, Dan could see that from here. So he pulled out Ross’ chair, which made him howl like a dork.

“Beautifully,” she said. “Thank you for your advice.”

“I told her she looked wonderful, but y’know – husband privileges only go so far. Thanks Dan.”

“Yeah, welcome. Are you hungry?” he asked, and solicitously handed them both menus.

“Starving,” she said.

“Me too,” he agreed, and speared a piece of watermelon. 

But he was hungry for things that weren’t touching his tongue.


	3. Chapter 3

Dan is good at holding himself in. He doesn't complain unless it's dire. He doesn't complain unless he's hurting.

He doesn't complain unless he's dying inside.

So he's complaining to Arin, because Arin had a way of understanding how he felt even if Dan didn't.

"So, Arin - have you ever like, had major feelings for a married woman?"

"Woah, that's new territory," Arin says, without looking up from the game. 

"Yeah, for me too," Dan admitted. "Uh, my friend is kind of...attracted to the close friend's wife, and it's really weird."

"Fuck, dude, sounds like it is...I FUCKING JUMPED YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

"Arin..."

"Yesss?" 

Dan burst out laughing. At least Arin was good at distracting him. "He doesn't know what to do."

"Well, if your friend is serious about this girl...maybe he should say something to her before it gets weird?"

Huh, that was a fine idea. "I'll try that, thanks man...fuck! Matt and Ryan, edit that out!"

"Woah..." Arin muttered, then he yelled "FUCK!" at the top of his lungs.

He'd tell Arin. Whenever he stopped dreaming of Holly dressed up in a sexy Minerva Mcgonagall...


	4. Chapter 4

“You have a thing for Holly, don’t you?”

Dan almost dropped the plate of Pop Tarts he was holding. He and Arin had reconvened in the kitchen and were snacking when Arin had decided to unload on him. “Um, dude, what the fuck?” he asked Arin. He was, foolishly, hoping that his friend would never put two and two together from that morning’s Grump session. Well, wishes were like horses – and Dan’s had gotten loose and let go the gate of his mind. 

He really was losing control of his metaphors. 

“What do you mean what the fuck?” Arin smirked. “Like you wanna fuck Holly?”

“DUDE!” Dan flushed. “Shut up!”

“Uh, don’t worry about it.” He gestured for Dan to sit down on the bench beside him. “Holly and Ross have an open marriage thing going on. But more on Ross’ side than Holly’s. Y’know she’s…”

“Yeah, and I know why,” Dan glummed. 

“If you’re just looking to have a quick bang, like, Holly would be the least bangable person out there anyway. She wants love, then sex and you’re still mister ‘commitment?! Never heard of her!’”

“Please stop using your announcer voice,” Dan begged.

Arin shrugged. “I’m not. I’m just trying to get you ready for the inevitable. If you want Holly, you’re going to have to put your homework in. Or I’ll kick your butt.”

Dan bristled at the suggestion. “You won’t have to kick anything. I respect Holly too much to just make sweet love to her and ask her to leave.”

Arin blinked at him. “But you don’t want to fall in love with her either, do you?”

That gave Dan pause. Did he want to fall in love with her? Was it possible for them to have a relationship that he couldn’t fuck up? He must have been particularly pale, because Arin poked his shoulder.

“Calm down, dude. Maybe just try to have a conversation with her first?”

“You want me to actually talk to a girl?” Dan still wasn’t comfortable with the concept, and he was in his thirties. He’d been with plenty of girls, talked with plenty of girls, was getting better at talking to them – yet was still completely and utterly afraid to do anything, say anything to them when it counted. And when it came to Holly absolutely everything he had to say was important.

“Why not? You talk to Suzy, don’t you?”

“Scuze is different!” Dan protested. “She’s your wife, she’s not…”

“…A scary potential lover?”

“Yes,” Dan said. Arin nudged him. 

“Just go to her house. Spend a couple of hours with Ross. Make some excuses. Get to know her better.”

“Well, that sounds pretty devious,” Dan said.

Arin grinned. “Are you saying my plan’s creepy, Dan?”

“I’d never,” he said. But he was grinning against the lip of his cup of tea. Hmm. Maybe Arin had a good idea.

And Ross did want someone to come over to see the animatic of the latest test episode of GameOververse….


	5. Chapter 5

The animatic was so long that Dan lost all feeling in his leg. It had died like a bug and fallen asleep, his toes curled upward like pleading legs.

Wow, he was getting bloody-minded, sitting here trying to avoid thinking about Holly, sitting two inches away, eating popcorn and staring at the screen. She caught him watching her – her smile was sweet, and she reached over and squeezed his knee.

“Ahah,” he squeaked out, but Ross was too busy explaining what his big-boobed robot lady was doing saving the universe. Dan paid attention.

Mostly. 

But he was starting to collect facts. He knew a lot about her already, but now he also knew she hated onions on her pizza and abhorred warm beer. He knew she laughed whenever Ross did funny voices, and he definitely knew she liked the way he laughed. 

When the reel ended and the pizza and beer were gone (and Dan’s soda, which he clung to like a baby bottle) Ross left them alone, and Dan swore it was deliberate.

“Um…I kind of have to go?”

Holly walked him to the door. “Dan,” she said. “Um..would you like to go to Bohemian Rhapsody with me?”

“Yes please!” he blurted out. She smiled and shook her head.

“I’ll pick you up at nine,”; she said, and gently shoved him out the door.

Dan was almost whistling as he walked to the car.

He had an actual date with Holly. 

Kind of.

A friend date.

Which still counted.


End file.
